Goddamned wasteful gummit spending: Who’s the highest (over)paid “public servant” in your state? (WTF?)

A Special Guest Commentary From Randy Wayne Boudreau, Grand Dragon of the Alabama Tea Party

All right thinking citizen patriots hate gummit. Wasteful bureaucrats living off hard workers like you and me. Might as well be welfare queens.

And now, thanks to the good folks at Deadspin – private, non-union workers, I should note – we know who the highest paid gummit bloodsuckers around the country are.

What the motherfuck? Hold on a cotton-picking minute. Coaches don’t count. ‘Cause that’s football. And sometime basketball. Them’s revenue generators. I mean, you know. They’re technically gummit employees, I reckon. But not really. ‘Cause they generate revenue that funds the rest of the school. [ED. NOTE: That doesn’t really happen.] Not like them damned tenured leeches in the English department. Coaches work for a living. Them what can, does. Them what can’t, teaches. [ED. NOTE: I thought coaching was teaching.]

Goddammit. I don’t know who “ED” is, but will you cut that shit out? I’m trying to make a point here. Buncha fucking libruls trying to do away with America’s pastime. Don’t think I don’t see what’s going on here. [ED. NOTE: Technically baseball is America’s pastime, but go on.]

Last time I ever waste my money reading Pravda – I mean Deadspin. [ED. NOTE: Deadspin is free.]

STOP THAT STOP THAT STOP YOU GODDAMNED PANSY BALLET-GOING SOCIALIST SOCCER-LOVING FREEDOM HATER!!!!

[ED. NOTE: The remainder of this essay has been deleted as the editors deemed the language employed unsuitable for a family audience.]

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8 thoughts on “Goddamned wasteful gummit spending: Who’s the highest (over)paid “public servant” in your state? (WTF?)”

  1. What I want to know is this: how’d four college presidents, and four med school bosses get the top salaries in their states? I can see paying a plastic surgeon in NV (after all, gotta keep them Vegas showgirls looking fine), and I’m guessing that law school dean threatened to sue somebody – but that’s ten states where they don’t value sports above all else. What’s this country coming to?

      1. Are you suggesting that the University of Mississippi doesn’t teach its football players how to count? Because I heard one of them in an interview not long ago say that he was a Counting major.

  2. It varies year to year, but maybe one or two of the NCAA football programs make money. The rest either roughly break even or lose money. The argument that they make money for the school is a lie.

  3. Once again those dang blue states can’t get on board with the program.

    Or is it something about the northern latitudes?

  4. I somehow managed to find 3 positives from this map:
    1) If the highest paid public employee in Connecticut has to be a sports coach, at least it’s the women’s basketball coach
    2) After looking at Nevada’s highest paid public employee, I’m a little surprised that occupation isn’t the highest paid in California
    3) If Minnesota pays their top basketball and football coach an equally ridiculous sum, they can no longer call Minnesota “the state of hockey”.

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