Nozzle of the Week: the RIAA

If the RIAA were a common street thug, here’s how things would go. It would jump an innocent old lady, stomp her within an inch of her life, and then, when she screamed for mercy, it would file a motion asking the nearest court to sanction her for wasting its time.

Seriously, you ain’t gonna believe this shizzle:

The Recording Industry Association of America is declaring attorney-blogger Ray Beckerman a “vexatious” litigator. The association is seeking unspecified monetary sanctions to punish him in his defense of a New York woman accused of making copyrighted music available on the Kazaa file sharing system.

The RIAA said Beckerman, one of the nation’s few attorneys who defends accused file sharers, “has maintained an anti-recording industry blog during the course of this case and has consistently posted virtually every one of his baseless motions on his blog seeking to bolster his public relations campaign and embarrass plaintiffs,” the RIAA wrote (.pdf) in court briefs. “Such vexatious conduct demeans the integrity of these judicial proceedings and warrants this imposition of sanctions.”

Another defense attorney notes that “the RIAA’s motion comes from the same organization that has sued about 30,000 people over the last five years for file sharing, some of them falsely. It’s the same organization, he said, that has sued dead people, the elderly and even children — all while using unlicensed investigators.”

Maybe I’m just failing to understand what the RIAA means by “vexatious.” I mean, I’m not an overglorified ambulance chaser or anything. But if I were being sued for file sharing – especially if I hadn’t done it – and they were asking for $150,000 per track, then I might indeed be a little vexed. But I don’t think that’s what they mean.

So today, Scholars and Rogues salutes you, Mr. RIAA Lawyer, for doing all in your power to suck the soul completely out of America, reducing it to an artistic ghost town where all the CDs are by Avril Lavigne and all the radio stations are programmed in a suite in downtown Los Angeles by men in Armani suits bragging about their backstage passes to see Celine Dion.

As a great American once said, “suck it.” And Mr. Beckerman, you have our full support – may your opponents drown in a sea of frivolous motions.

Finally, on a related note, Metallica’s career is now officially over.

Thanks to Rho for the story tip and fikshun for the pic.

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3 thoughts on “Nozzle of the Week: the RIAA”

  1. “Finally, on a related note, Metallica’s career is now officially over.”

    Um

    their career was officially over when Cliff Died and Kirk Survived….

    Now if Kirk would have had a spine, and stayed in his own bunk, all would be well with the metal world…one less crappy hack of a metal guitarist making my head hurt…

  2. I couldn’t agree more. I’m a professinal musician, and for years, now, I’ve been completely disgusted by the actions of my own industry. That is one reason why I don’t pay any attention to the crap they call music, now adays. There is nothing in it for me, and I won’t play it, let alone buy it. This all started when Reagan said “Go for it, America”. What he meant was for those with more money than brains or taste to take over everything and make $$ on it. Who cares if there is nothing but tripe involved? It’s not music anymore, it’s product. And as such, it’s just like everything else in this country anymore. It’s CRAP. There is no soul to any of it, and no reason to listen to it. And it’s certainly not worth getting sued over. Music used to be put out by those who LOVED music. Now it’s just done by greedy people who, if they can’t get any money by putting out a decent sound, will just screw the musicians involved. Pathetic, and just one reason they are losing their shorts. And it couldn’t happen to a finer class of people, just like the rest of corporate America.

  3. Aw, give us RIAA sharks a break! We all got “declared” outta Scientology when the BBC fiasco blew little Davey Miss Cabbage’s house of cards down. The BBC was too big to sue…we, the crocodile that swallows an even bigger crocodile thinking that it’s a manageable lunch…and dies of a kind of terrible indigestion combined with suffocation.

    We got Declared—excommunicated–for not being vicious enough. Yeah we kicked the old lady down the stairs, but when we had her unconscious on the next landing, we didn’t get us a court order from a corrupt old pedophile of a judge….a motion allowing us to pour hot lye down the back of the old lady’s baggy drawers, videotape the act and then sell it online.

    So that we could “recoup any and all monentary losses” caused by the old lady’s having once grabbed our newspaper in the lobby by mistake. Hey! Like the RIAA says: file sharing is a gateway crime! Steal a paper, go to jail! Hey! Total personal responsibility means total personal liability! If you don’t like that, you haven’t made yourself judgment-proof yet, and what’na hell you waiting for? Nobody sues a pauper. Well, nobody but us $lyentology loyyers.

    Same thing that killed the greedy, big-mouthed croc will overtake all $lime-entology and RIAA lawyers, the sensible public hopes. Personally, I would wish that Lady Justice took a page from the Jewish Talmud, and caused all the RIAA lawyers to be boiled in their own excrement, for eternity.

    No, wait…..better yet, boiled in the excrement of every defendant and defendants’ lawyer that those RIAA scumsuckers bested in the USA’s famously crooked courtrooms.

    From Antonin Scalia on down, the fish has indeed rotted from its ugly head all the way to the tail. Something needs to change, drastically, or our children (mine, anyway) will inherit a mad circus where the twisted and deranged make the rules, mercy and a sense of proportion have been forgotten, and the rich will reattain their Middle Ages perks, like being able to disembowel with no fear of legal retribution any peasant who gets out of line. Heck, we’re almost to that point now….Bushie and Jose Padilla…..Miscavige and the RPF gulags….la migra (ICE) hauling people away with puke-soaked bags on their heads, to cells from which they’ll get NO emergency health care, garbage food, be denied their legitimate medications and visits from not only their family members but also their lawyers.

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