Kiss the monster

First of all, I recall to your attention the extraordinary fact with which I began. To wit, that the human being, like the immortals, naturally places sexual intercourse far and away above all other joys — yet he has left it out of his heaven! The very thought of it excites him; opportunity sets him wild; in this state he will risk life, reputation, everything — even his queer heaven itself — to make good that opportunity and ride it to the overwhelming climax. From youth to middle age all men and all women prize copulation above all other pleasures combined, yet it is actually as I have said: it is not in their heaven; prayer takes its place. – Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth

Damn, P. Hux and Twain have it nailed, don’t they?

Thanks to John Cavanaugh for passing this vid along.

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “Kiss the monster”

  1. Christians think they’re better than Muslims. But Muslim men get more virgins than they can handle in their heaven!

  2. See? Religion is crazy. If I were Allah, I’d be promising the faithful a dozen gorgeous, enthusiastic whores, not a swarm of virgins.

  3. E – I like the sound of THAT heaven. My wife would demand a dozen gorgeous, enthusiastic gigolos for her, of course, but I think I’d probably be OK with that under the circumstances. 🙂

    As someone who was a virgin once, I have no interest in being that inexperienced ever again. And being forced to have sex with a dozen girls that inexperienced forever would be so infinitely frustrating as to almost qualify it as hell, not heaven.

  4. I like how the Muslim fundies seem to automatically assume that all the virgins are beautiful. I’ve met any number of virgins – of both genders – and can testify that some are that way for a reason.

  5. To direct the discussion to the theological for a moment. . .

    If you believe in reincarnation, like I do, the absence or lack of food and sex in the afterlife can be perceived as a device to make the soul, otherwise comfortably esconced in a peaceful realm, more willing to return to earth and its pleasures.

  6. I don’t know what I believe in anymore, as I’m undergoing a severe crisis of faith. I wonder where my lovely wife is, or even if she is,

    Jeff

  7. Euphrosyne — Of course, we don’t have a choice. But, from what I’ve learned, souls can delay their inevitable returns to earth. If they can conjure up what they enjoyed while here, it might make them more willing to return.

    (As you can see, I spend a lot of time thinking about the afterlife. Aside to religious folk: When you arrive there, you have to check your religion at the door. There are no churches, mosques, synagogues, or temples.)

    Jeff — It might be helpful to think in terms of the conservation of energy. Whatever it is that animates us isn’t likely to disappear or even dissipate. Your wife is probably hard at work on her spirit, but sad she can’t reassure you that she’s doing fine.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s