There’s a funny parenting story in the news. And there’s another funny parenting story that isn’t in the news. Unfortunately, the one that isn’t needs to be.
The “in the news” story involves Britney’s little sister, Jamie Lynn. You may have heard that the 16 year-old TV star is pregnant. By a nice boy she met at church. And of course, now they’re wondering whether there was any statutory rape involved. Please, no snark. We’re above that.
Britney, of course, is the whore of Babylon. It’s hard to say if she’s the worst trainwreck in Hollywood history, but when you’re bad enough that Paris and Lo-Blow are relegated to playing for a distant second, you’re in 2007 Patriots mode, for sure.
And then the hammer drops:
A Christian publisher said on Wednesday it has called off a parenting book written by Lynne Spears — the mother of troubled pop star Britney Spears and her pregnant 16-year-old sister, Jamie Lynn.
Yup, that’s right. The matriarch of the Punchline Gang has written a book on parenting.
The working title for the book was “Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World.” Described by the publisher as “a parenting book that’s going to have faith elements to it,” it had been set for publication on Mother’s Day in May 2008.
Okay, now let’s have a look at the parenting story that seems to be avoiding the front pages, that of Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee.
First, one son got in a lot of hot water for going all Mike Vick on a stray dog. While at Boy Scout Camp. As a counselor.
As Mike Huckabee gains in the polls, the former Arkansas governor is finding that his record in office is getting more scrutiny. One issue likely to get attention is his handling of a sensitive family matter: allegations that one of his sons was involved in the hanging of a stray dog at a Boy Scout camp in 1998. The incident led to the dismissal of David Huckabee, then 17, from his job as a counselor at Camp Pioneer in Hatfield, Ark. It also prompted the local prosecuting attorneyâ€” bombarded with complaints generated by a national animal-rights groupâ€”to write a letter to the Arkansas state police seeking help investigating whether David and another teenager had violated state animal-cruelty laws.
We’ll ignore, for the moment, that Huck tried to pressure officials to make the case go away, because this story is about faith-based parenting, not run-of-the-mill political corruption. We’ll also ignore David getting busted earlier this year for having a gun in his back while trying to board a plane, because that could have been a simple accident.
Now we have an emerging story about Huck’s other boy, John, who’s apparently a connoisseur of fine pornography.
I went to college with John Mark Huckabee â€¦ at Ouachita Baptist University in the late â€™90s. John Mark had the biggest porn magazine collection on campus and used to delight his nerd-friends by reading aloud Penthouse Letters he composed and submitted for publication.
There’s nothing wrong with being religious, and there’s nothing wrong with a religious person seeking public office. In many cases religion fosters strong values that help a person be a better public servant. But you don’t evaluate a person’s values by taking his public pronouncements of faith at face value. You don’t learn how good a man’s heart is by getting all mushy over TV ads about how much he loves Christmas. And if you’re smart, you get very suspicious when he talks more about religion than the hard issues that face the public.
No, you evaluate the faith and effectiveness of the public Christian man by looking at his home. His family. In that picture, is he a successful servant of God? When things go wrong there – as is natural in every home – does he turn inward, seeking spiritual strength to set things aright, or does he resort to bullying and intimidation in order to sweep the cancer in his own soul under the rug?
The Hucks have provided us plenty of questions, haven’t they? When you set yourself up as a righteous public moral authority, you set a standard. Boiled down to its most direct terms, the question is this: if you’ve failed at ruling your own home in accordance with the mandates of your faith, how can you possibly ask us to entrust you with our nation?
Thanks, but no thanks. But if you lose the election, maybe you can go help Lynne Spears with that parenting book…